Overthinking Clifford

Khan isn’t allowed a lot of T.V. But he does get to watch half an hour a day, long enough for me to check my e-mail and wash the dishes (except on Saturdays, when he watches an entire hour of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with Daddy). We don’t have cable, so he’s stuck with public broadcasting. At this point I’ve seen a bunch of PBS shows: Word Girl, Anne of Green Gables: The Animated Series (actually, I watch that one sometimes when the baby is asleep…nothing like nostalgia!), Dinosaur Train, Dragon Tales, Zooboomafoo, Curious George, Clifford the Big Red Dog, and Khan’s favorite, Sid the Science Kid.

And I have some questions.

How much food does Clifford consume? Even the cheapest dog food will add up when your dog is two stories tall. Where do his owners store all that food? And most importantly, who cleans up after him when they take him for a walk?

And then there’s Word Girl. Does her family really not realize their daughter/sister is a literate superhero? Or are they humoring her (for what it’s worth, I’m also skeptical that it took Aunt May forty years to realize her nephew is Spider-man…I always suspected she knew more than she let on).

And as for Curious George…he’s a criminal. Vandalism, breaking and entering, trespassing, burglary, breaking health code regulations…yet at the end, everyone laughs and shakes their heads. Silly monkey. Silly, silly, delinquent monkey. How much collateral damage do you think the Man in the Yellow Hat has to pay for, every episode? What kind of job does he have that he can afford it? Is he in the mob?

Sid the Science Kid. Sid attends a school with only four students, including him. And they only learn whatever he wants to study, which is always, of course, science. Now, maybe he attends a Montessori school. But then why don’t the other kids ever get to choose a subject to study? Don’t the other children resent him for obviously being Teacher Suzie’s favorite?

I’m probably overthinking this. They’re kids’ shows, after all. Khan certainly doesn’t care who cleans up after Clifford. But I do. I lie awake nights, wondering. I even discuss it with The Scientist (he thinks they hire a service to scoop and dispose of it).

Also, I am still waiting for that very special episode of Dinosaur Train where the pterodactyls see a meteor plunge to the Earth. So maybe they’re dinosaurs who ride a train…but that doesn’t mean the show can’t be somewhat scientifically accurate, right?

Yeah, I probably need a hobby.