Sorry I've been MIA; we ended up moving to our new house a week early (because The Scientist's friends were available to help then, and $70 for pizza and beer beats $400 for professional movers any day).
How to Change the Diaper of a 3-Month-Old
1. Lay baby on his back.
2. Take off his pants.
3. Remove soiled diaper.
4. Wipe bottom.
5. Apply diaper rash cream.
6. Put on clean diaper.
7. Put on baby's pants.
How to Change the Diaper of an 11-Month-Old
1. Lay baby on his back.
2. Grab arm of escaping baby, flip him over.
3. Repeat.
4. Remove baby's pants, dodging flailing legs.
5. Begin removing soiled diaper.
6. Grab escaping baby, flip him over.
7. Hand him a toy to distract him.
8. Remove soiled diaper.
9. Dodge toy as baby flings it at your head.
10. Grab escaping baby's ankle, drag him back, flip him over.
11. Wipe bottom, carpet, baby's legs, your hands, baby's hands, toy, and the cat.
12. Pin baby's windmilling arms with one hand and his thrashing legs with your knees.
14. Apply diaper cream.
15. Wipe excess diaper cream on your pants.
16. Begin putting on clean diaper.
17. Grab escaping baby's torso, flip him over.
18. Dodge well-aimed peepee.
19. Put on clean diaper.
20. Release howling, sobbing baby.
21. Consider putting on baby's pants. Decide it is best for everyone if you don't.
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